On K's recommendation, I purchased a digital copy of this film back when it first came out. It's by the same director, Andrew Haigh, as one of my all-time favorite films, Weekend. I knew absolutely nothing about it, read no reviews, didn't know who was in it, etc ( Read more... )

As today worked out way better than feared, brain is clear, I'm having fun,

I'm thinking I might head to the condo tomorrow for change of venue and better toys ... ... yeah ... we'll see ...

all is well again

[update: correcting math error -- it was early in the morning, 20x not 200x]

One item I regularly complain about in my LJ is gun violence.  So far in 2022 the US has experienced 25,646 deaths due to gun violence.  The US has the second highest number of deaths from gun violence in the world, second only to Brazil ( Read more... )

I'm -- popped -- seeing the fire of the storyteller and not fearing it as before ( Read more... )

T took a videogame break to talk with me, as memories of my Wild Week have returned, but I'm fine.

"Maybe you should take a break from the book, go on a walk and process your feelings."

"I think I want to make sure he gets out of the hospital first!" And I'm almost done with the entire book anyway.

-----

finished!

Mental hospital!

Probably best that I'm finishing up this memoir while I'm at the house with T.

My current life is so different from my life in 2003, when I lived alone and had lived alone for several years, when I considered myself "single", and when I had recently been in a mental hospital due to some kind of breakdown/breakthrough anxiety/depression about six months after my father died ( Read more... )

I have only been present for the passing of my grandfather, T's dog Lucy, and our dog Dax ( Read more... )

All the fears that arose back then, they're back.  But, crucially, I'm OK, I can sleep, I'm not in distress, I'm just reliving all that shit now.  Calmly, as an observer of memory.  Underline: calmly.

The most abstract fear of them all, was/is that I might have the ability to solve the mysteries of dark matter and dark energy, which solutions could ( Read more... )

I was afraid to take people with me, to the scary place, but the only reason it was scary was because I was alone.